Magic Monday

Tomorrow is the day of our egg retrieval.  I must say, this cycle has flown by and hasn't been as trying as some of the others.   Another good sign, I suppose!  I only had to have blood drawn once -- and in remembering our other cycles I am positive that it happened more often during those.  I'll take small wins where I can!  I last saw the doctor yesterday morning, and he indicated that we'd likely get nine good eggs from this cycle (according to what the ultrasound showed).  At the previous appointment we met with a different doctor, and he'd counted 13 follicles, though some were quite small.

I took my last injections yesterday, and go in tomorrow at 8 a.m.  The egg retrieval itself is at 8:45.  I will be partially sedated, and the procedure shouldn't take long.  After that it will be a waiting game until Tuesday when they call to tell us how many mature eggs we have and how many fertilize.

I continue to feel a buzzing excitement about what is to come.  Yesterday I tried to explain it to Tony by telling him my whole body was zinging with anticipation.  Not quite sure that does it justice, but it's the best I could (and can) come up with!

I will say that I'm a little uncomfortable.  I feel bloated and my abdomen is crowded -- both things I consider to be good things!  I've had a low backache for a couple of days now, probably related to the fact that there are a substantial number of eggs growing and not a lot of space for them to do so.  The largest we saw on the ultrasound was 23mm, which is the biggest I've ever had that early, and the others were not far behind.  Usually, I give myself shots of medication until day 15 and we considered ourselves lucky if we got a 20mm egg.   This time, I stopped my shots on day 11 and we have substantially larger eggs.  The medications are all the same as I've used previously, so that's not the difference.  I'm really happy that my body has responded better to the stimulation and hope this is yet another sign indicating that something good is about to happen!

Look for an update from me on Tuesday at the latest -- depending on how I'm feeling and what information we learn tomorrow after the egg retrieval, I may try to update yet tomorrow :)

Let's see what happens...

We went back for a doctor visit this morning at 7:15.  I was bummed because I couldn't find a subbing job that started after 7:30 a.m., and had resigned myself to the fact that I would not be earning money today.  I won't lie and say I wasn't a little excited about the fact that I might sneak in a nap or two today!  Turns out, we got out of the doctor at about 7:30 and I found a sub job starting at 8:10.  I ran home and changed, and made it just in time for the school day to begin.

Our appointment was very quick.  The doctor measured the follicles, I have no idea how many there are at this point.  On Sunday I thought there were 11 or 12.  Today, I think he measured 9.  For sure the doctor we saw on Sunday measured more follicles.  He will be the same doctor we'll be seeing on Thursday when we go back, so hopefully we can get a more accurate count then.  I think the largest follicle today was about 14mm.  Doesn't sound too big, but when you have 9 (or 11 or 12) growing at the same time it gets a little bit uncomfortable.  I'm not sure I can explain the feeling.  It's crowded, you feel bloated, and crampy.  But not a kind of crampy that is similar to any other I've experienced.  Sometimes it becomes uncomfortable if you twist to one side or another, at other times it hurts when you bend over to retrieve something from the ground.  There are even times that it hurts to lie in bed.  I'm not complaining -- in fact, all these things make me even more excited.  I don't know why I equate my being uncomfortable with our having success, but I do.  So, I'll take all the uncomfortable I can if it means that we end up with the baby we've been longing for.

 According to the doctor we saw today, the egg retrieval will most likely take place this Saturday or Sunday.  I'm kind of amazed -- the time seems to have flown by.  It's not that I'm not ready -- of course I am, it just took me by surprise.  I will not be the least bit surprised if Saturday or Sunday comes and we continue the medication a little bit longer.  I say this because that's what has happened in the past.  The doctor predicts that the follicles will have grown enough to indicated mature eggs, and then when the time comes, we wait a little longer for better results.  Some of you know how I get with planning.  Sometimes it takes over and I want things to be "just so."  As I've learned over the past three and a half years, when it comes to our IVF, no amount of planning can predict anything.  So for once I'm just rolling with the punches.  I'll keep trying to sub every day that I can and we'll go on from there.  I won't sub if I happen to have the procedure on a school day, and may not even go in the following day depending on how I feel.  It varies from one procedure to the next, but I'm usually fairly groggy and sore for 24-48 hours.    

We'll see if I come up with anything to post in the meantime -- otherwise, you'll be hearing from me after our Thursday (6:45 a.m.!!) appointment!

Liebster Award

I finally took the time to look around at some of the blogs that I follow, and was shocked to receive a nomination (from three months ago!) from my good friend and author, +Megan Karabon.  She blogs about good deals, necessities for kids, and also shares sweet stories about her daughter.  You can find her Daily Dose of Lily here.  Thank you, +Megan Karabon, for the nomination!

I'll be honest with you, I had to google the Liebster Award.  I had no idea what it was save for Megan's description on her page.  I found a good description of the aware here.  I feel like such a slowpoke that it took me so long to even realize I was nominated.  The Liebster Award is supposed to help draw attention to smaller blogs so others become aware of them.  From what I gather, I'm supposed to nominate another small blog and pay it forward by mentioning it here.  Good thing I have some time today -- as much as I enjoy reading blogs, I tend to read blogs that many people follow...and there's really only a couple I read routinely, and those have quite a few followers.  My cousin +Monica Conway does have a blog that I love to read.  She is one of the most creative people I know, and I enjoy her writing as much as her art.  Hopefully she sees this soon and will accept the nomination for her blog, which you can find here.

Now, in order to accept my nomination I'm supposed to answer these 11 questions, I think.

1. How did you decide on the title of your blog? 

I was flitting back and forth with the idea of even writing a blog, but talked it over with +Megan Karabon and decided to just go for it.  The title of our blogspot came quite easily to me:  Being the Bartletts seemed to fit Tony's and my daily life pretty well.  It took a little longer to come up with "the perfect pear," and I have to give credit, again, to Megan on that one.  I loved the way it plays with the meaning of the words pair/pear in that it reflects Tony's and my relationship as well as our quest to make a little person of our own.

2. What is one word that sums up the heart of your blog and why?
Faith.   It is not always an easy task to keep pushing forward in order to reach a goal.  There are days when I know I could have given up, but my faith would not let me.  

3. What are your favorite pastimes other than blogging?
I enjoy reading and photography, but I don't do much of either when I'm in 'student mode.'  Since school got out I've been able to read a fair amount -- I'm really into the 'Outlander' Series by Diana Gabaldon.  It was recommended to me by my cousin, Paula, and I cannot seem to put the books down.  I recently discovered there is also a television series based on the first book on Starz.  So, my pastime of reading may soon turn into one of watching t.v.!

4. What is your favorite aspect of blogging?
I love how free I feel when I get done with a blog post.  It's like I take all the things that are swirling around in my brain and get them out and organized, which helps organize my thoughts.  Between this and the support I feel from people who read my blog, it's a close tie.  I really enjoy that people actually like hearing about the things we experience and are so generous with their support.

5. Which project, recipe or idea on my blog would you most like to try yourself?

I want to have a little one of my own so I can put all your lists and suggestions to good use!

6. Where does your blog inspiration come from?
I wanted to document every piece of our journey in our quest to have a child, even those that may be painful.  Some of my favorite blog posts were some of the hardest experiences I've ever dealt with, but I hope that the fact that I have the faith and strength to move forward will be rewarded in the end.

7. What is one country in the world you would like to visit? Why?
I have traveled many places, and cannot think of a new place I would like to visit, but I would like to take Tony to Ireland and to New Zealand -- two places I would definitely not mind visiting again!


8. If you have children, what are there names? If not, what are your favorite girl and boy names?
Tony and I go back and forth on names and our most recent conclusion is that we'll wait and see.  For a long time our favorites have been Charlotte and Jackson, so don't be surprised if one of those shows up in the future with Bartlett after it!

9. A long-lost relative leaves you a large sum of money. What do you do with it?
The first thing I would do is make sure that we are out debt.  As hard as I've worked to achieve this goal, the more medical procedures that we go through, the more bills we acquire.   Second thing I would do is purchase a home with Tony -- somewhere.  Haha.  I'm not sure if I could convince him to move where I'd like to move, but it would probably still be in Wisconsin at least!  Third, I would put money in savings.

10. In your opinion, what is the best blog post you’ve written so far? (Include the link!)

This was a tough decision, and I didn't have time to re-read every post.  I finally decided on this one, The Day After.

11. Where do you see yourself in five years time?In five years time I hope to be starting my career as a nurse practitioner, continuing to build a life with my husband, and hopefully being parents!

Signs

 I am pleased to report that I survived my first semester in nursing school, and couldn't be more certain that this is the path I'm meant to follow.  I've met some wonderful people in my program and am really excited about the journey we will take over the next three semesters.  Yes, you read that correctly, I will be finished in three semesters.  I've often heard it said that once you take the first step towards going for your dreams, time flies.  I have to acknowledge that this is true.  I don't think I would have made it this far without my family's unending support -- especially my mom and my husband for putting up with my anxiety and my nerdy self on a weekly basis!

I finished my last final on May 15, and Tony and I went up to Crandon, WI for a short weekend getaway in order to celebrate the end of my semester.  We had the opportunity, while there, to get in some really quality time with family, and even got to visit with some of our favorite people from Georgia.  Truly a time well spent!
While we were gone I was anxiously awaiting a cycle start, as that would be the signal that I could call the doc and get this show on the road.  Out of all the times we've been through this, I have to say I'm most excited about this time.  Dangerous, I know.  But, things have been happening all around me that seem to say "This is it!  THIS is the time you've been waiting for!"  Beat with me as I share some of the 'signs' that have crossed my path in recent weeks.  Perhaps I'm blowing them out of proportion, though I'd rather like to think they are exactly what they seem -- small coincidences that let me know our little on is on it's way.

The first instance took me a little off guard, I was completing my clinical visit at an elementary school doing vision screenings for the students.  A boy and a girl came over to the station I was working at with a fellow classmate.  At the same time we asked "What is your name?"  Just as the girl said "Charlotte," the boy said "Jackson."  These have been two names at the top of our list for quite some time.  I experienced a little spark of joy and filed it away as something strange, albeit exciting to think about the possibility that it was a sign of something yet to come.
About a week later I was at my weekly acupuncture appointment, lying on my back on the table with all the little needles placed exactly where they should be to do their jobs.  As usual, I was sound asleep (and most likely snoring, I'm embarrassed to admit).  Suddenly, I awoke with a jolt.  There is a skylight above the table, and although I cannot see the sky while I'm lying there, I can see the light from the sun.  My belly was filled with warmth, and I had this determined feeling that this time the IVF would work.  I was overcome with emotion, and realized that tears were streaming down my face.  It was one of the strangest things I've experienced to date.  There were no sounds to indicate that something had happened to awaken me, just a bright sunshiny light filtering through the window above me.

As you know from my last post, we were having difficulty procuring the funds to make sure we could move forward.  My little Mary Kay "sale" did not go as well as planned, but God provided in other ways.  I am happy to report that, seemingly out of nowhere, we got exactly what we needed to proceed.

Finally, while up North last weekend Tony and I went out to eat with my cousins.  Normally we'd just eat in town, but someone suggested making a trip to Rhinelander for Chinese food at a restaurant that is a particular favorite for my cousins from Georgia.  Off we went.  At the end of the meal, we all selected our fortune cookies.  My mouth hung open in surprise as I read mine and frantically showed it around the table.  Here is what it said:

Whatever the reasoning behind all this -- I'll take it.  I don't consider myself a very superstitious person, but I do have a strong sense of faith.  I go forward believing with all my heart that now is our time.

I started my medication on Tuesday, May 19.  So far it's only two shots a day both at night.  We went in for an ultrasound and met with the doctor on Friday, and things appear to be progressing well.  We currently had 5 larger follicles that he measured.  I'm hoping to see more show up tomorrow when we go in for another checkup.  They did a blood test to check my estrogen levels, and those weren't as high as the doctor wanted to see so he increased the dose on one of my medications and delayed adding in the third medication.  Tomorrow the doctor will let me know how to proceed.  I was able to order refills on all the medications I need, which helped to put an anxious mind at ease.  I was worried with the holiday weekend that I might not be able to get what I needed here in a time frame that I'd be comfortable with, but again God was looking out for me.  I called yesterday morning and the lady informed me my medications would be on my doorstep today, and they were.  Things just keep falling into place and I couldn't be happier about it!

That's all for now -- since I finished school I've been doing a little subbing for Milwaukee Public Schools.  I was able to spend one day with 4 year old kindergartners (exhausting!!) and the next two with middle schoolers (now I know why I spent 12 years of my life teaching high schoolers -- they are much less unpredictable).  I will do my best to update again soon as we continue this journey :)  As always, I thank you all for coming along on this 'wild and crazy' ride.  We know we have a lot of people out there rooting for us, and words don't do justice to express the appreciation we feel.   Knowing that all the same, THANK YOU!