Devastation

Went in this morning for my blood draw, Tony and I did a really good job staying positive. Unfortunately, my hcg dropped to 7.  The nurse instructed me to stop my medicine. I was so convinced this time would be different, that something like this wouldn't happen three times. But, it did. We will be okay, but it will take some time.  Thank you for your thoughts and prayers...believe me when I say I'm almost embarrassed to be doing this again.  Hey, we're pregnant!  Wait -- never mind. It's getting a little old. 

Tuesday's News

I know I've been silent, locked away in self-imposed isolation.  I didn't mean to leave you hanging, we simply didn't have any news.  We found out shortly after the transfer that our other two embryos did not continue to develop.  As silly as it sounds, that didn't seem like it was all that important in the grand scheme of things.  I mean we transferred 3 embryos -- three chances to create a life. 

Last Saturday I started experiencing horrific cramps, a very severe headache, and some light spotting.  I'm happy to report the headache is gone, though the other two symptoms come and go.  I've been doing my best to take it easy, hoping against hope that what I experienced was implantation bleeding. Called the nurse yesterday, and she said we'd just have to wait and see with our blood test today.  I went in about 6:10 this morning.  At 7:30, the doctor himself called to tell me I'm pregnant!  HcG is 45.8.  I go back for a repeat blood test in two days time. As always, thank you for your love and support, your prayers and positivity!   We are elated, and doing our best to stay positive -- we have traveled this road before and are hoping and praying that the outcome of this pregnancy is different than the last two.  

Decisions, Decisions

AHHHHH.  Sorry, just had to get that out.  Things went really well today, but it was a little bit of a nerve wracking process making all the decision on how many embryos to transfer today.  

So, here's the scoop.  We had 5 embryos.  Three were grade A, but one of those was actually like an A++ because it was a little bit ahead of the others (9 cells vs the others' 8 cells), one B+ and one B-.  I have NO idea what the embryos with the B grade looked like, as they didn't show them to me.  I only know that they were growing more slowly than the other three.  We ended up taking the doctor's recommendation and transferring our three best quality embryos.  We feel really, really good about this decision.  Of course none of us can see the future, but it was clear that the doctor was not very concerned about all three of them implanting, especially with our history.  Now, this could come back to bite me, I realize that!

The clinic put us in the same room that we used for the egg retrieval, which is unusual.  We are usually next door for transfers -- the nurse just said they wanted to change things up.  As scientific as the doctors sometimes seem, I am picking up on the fact that superstitions also play a role as far as routines and things.  I've heard many times from the nurses "well, sometimes the doctors just like to change things up, just in case it makes a difference."  We're praying it does make a difference and were totally fine with the change in rooms!

We did NOT do assisted hatching.  Tony and I were completely prepared to take that route, but the doctor we were working with today said he didn't recommend it.  He felt that there wasn't enough evidence to support that it would make any difference, and he was hesitant to manipulate the embryos any more than completely necessary.  So, we took his advice.

I'm doing well, feeling good, and Tony and I are taking it easy.  Positivity is key.  I read on another blog about the acronym PUPO and I've decided to adopt it.  I am Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise! :)

Our big blood test date is June 16, 12 looooooong days away.  It's also the day before our fourth wedding anniversary.  Doing our best to stay completely positive.  Oddly, I received a notification today from Timehop that two years ago we did a transfer, and the photo showed up with it.  That. Was. Weird.  And, I distinctly remember that for our first pregnancy we tested for the first time on our wedding anniversary.  Changing it up a little and going the day before -- I'm totally okay with that!

Nerves

Good morning!  Today is the day!  Tony and I have been a bundle of nerves since yesterday when I last spoke to a nurse.  She called in response to a message I'd sent the doctor regarding the difference between a day 3 and a day 5 transfer -- I was worried there was something wrong.  Turns out, he is just of the school of thought that in our case the best environment for our embryos is their natural environment, so he wants them back in there asap.

She also mentioned that the doctor said he was willing to put in up to three (3!) embryos.  That threw both Tony and I for a loop.   Believe me when I tell you there has been MUCH discussion.  Tony tends to think of the worst-case scenario and run with it.  I tend to err more on the cautious 'all three will never stick' side.  We have NO idea the quality of the embryos, we will find that out when we go in today...leaving in about a half an hour (eek!).  I'll let you know what we decided once we meet with the doctor and weigh in his opinion.  We have our minds made up currently, but I'd hate to go back and forth for you, so I'll wait to share that tidbit until it's all said and done.

Finally, she told me they will be doing assisted hatching with the embryos.  A laser will just nick the outside of the membrane to allow the embryo itself to come out and attach to the uterine lining a little easier.  I was assured this is a safe process that is very accurate.  Here's to hoping it helps!

Ta ta for now! :)

We Received the Call

A nurse from the doctor's office called a little while ago to let us know that of the eleven eggs we had, eight were mature. Of those eight, five fertilized.  So, we have five little embryos growing in the lab.  We are currently scheduled for an embryo transfer on Thursday, which will be a day 3 transfer. If the embryos continue to grow and appear to be doing well, there is a chance that they will push the transfer to Saturday morning for a day 5 transfer.  I will update if/when I receive more information, but at this time it looks like we'll be going in at 11:00 Thursday morning.  Thank you for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers!  Not to rush things, but I'm pretty excited for the transfer to get here, regardless of what day it takes place on!  

And it begins...

My procedure went well this morning, I was semi-awake the whole time.  I remember that I talked and talked and talked...but I have no recollection of what I was talking about. It's probably better that way!  Haha. 

We ended up harvesting eleven eggs.  We should know tomorrow how many of those were mature and how many fertilize.  Praying fervently that the one we need is one of them!

This retrieval "hit" me a little differently than past ones.  I recovered more quickly and was sent home earlier -- but I've been in a little more pain than I remember, too. As long as I'm seated or lying down and don't make any quick movements I do alright.  It's the standing up and walking that hurts the most. I'm only taking Tylenol for the pain, and as we inch towards 9pm I can tell its wearing off because even lying down with a heating pad on my abdomen, I am hurting. 

I will update as soon as we have news. Thank you to each and every one of you for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers!