Just. Keep. Swimming.

Wow, what a week!  Last weekend was a relaxing weekend for Tony and I.  I think we must have needed it, because one of the nights, we went to bed at 8 o'clock and woke up at 11 the next morning!  Although many who know me know I can sleep like a champ, please believe me that this is not our normal.  Anyone who knows Tony knows that he is definitely a morning person most of the time.  I've learned to go with the flow as opposed to trying to fight it.  For whatever reason we slept in last week, it was sooooooo nice -- a luxury we should definitely relish now, in our life before kids!

That extra sleep helped me gear up for my week!  This week was my school's Festival of Nations.  Students and teachers alike spent much of the week preparing in many ways.  In my room, we were hard at work to continue the transformation of my classroom into a paradise "under the sea."  Which sea, you might be asking?  And, perhaps you're also asking, what does that have to do with Spanish?   Well, I have answers for both of your questions.  My students and I were focused on the Caribbean Sea, more specifically the areas around Cuba, Dominican Republic, and Puerto Rico.  We had several middle school classes help us with our transformation and the result was quite spectacular!
 The part you can see in the back of the pictures was a sea cave that the students created.  There were two sections to the caves, and both were lit up by black lights (hence the eerie bluish glow).

One of our middle school Science classes created the animals you see hanging from the ceiling.  They learned about animal classification and had to identify their animal by its common and its scientific name.  They also had to list three interesting facts about their animal.  Many were very colorful -- even though hear you mostly see the backs.  The backs of the animals were black because in the water when something swims by, sometimes it is hidden in shadow.  Another middle school Science class created a game/display that told which animals are found at different depths of the sea.  Very interesting!  Finally, a sixth grade Math class that meets daily in my room (their teacher "gets" to travel all over the building holding classes) helped by painting some of the sea paintings around the room and by making signs in Spanish (and some in Chinese!) about what they could see around the classroom.

My students did a little research, and found information regarding how living near the Caribbean Sea can affect life.  Some explored ways in which the Caribbean Sea influences art, music, and dance.  Some looked into whether or not these islands had seen any ill-effects due to the most recent BP oil spill.  Others did more island-specific research.  All in all we learned A LOT, and had a great time doing it!  Thanks to all the students' hard work, our room came in first place!  I am truly humbled, because there were so many great exhibits around school that night.  My classroom was actually part of a bigger group -- Latin America.  That part of our group was upstairs, they were the land, we were the sea underneath.  The upstairs was set up market-style and there were plenty of goodies to buy!  There was an awesome Post WWII New Orleans exhibit, a Japanese tea house, World War II Japan, The Black Forest in Germany, Greece, Brazil, Africa, and probably some that I am not remembering as I type.   Aside from the room displays there was also a cafeteria full of delicious food.  It was truly a multi-cultural night.

Tony showed up to give his support and we were able to snap this shot in my room's photobooth!

Manic Monday

This is how I "get" to spend my time when I go to physical therapy two times a week.  This is traction.  Basically, my neck is supported just under my ears, and the machine is pulled down by weights to elongate my neck just a little bit.  The machine holds for fifty seconds, and then releases for ten seconds.  It is not a quiet machine, but rather has a gentle hum.  Tony came with me today, hence the lovely photo opportunity.  To be honest, it's pretty relaxing and, even better, appears to be helping a little bit in the time immediately following treatment.

I've been to the doctor three times, and so far the diagnosis has remained the same:  cervical (neck) strain, shoulder strain, lumbar  (lower back) strain.  The doctor took x-rays a week ago, on my second visit, and we went over them today.  He felt that nothing was awry with my bones, I have no arthritis that he could see, and what the pictures show was consistent with his previous diagnosis.  Unfortunately, I'm still in pain.  Twice today he informed me that we have to go with conservative treatment for six weeks...and then we'll see what comes next.  Initially I was scheduled for four weeks of PT, visiting twice a week.  Today was my sixth visit to my physical therapist.  So far, we are scheduled out twice a week through April 10.

During my therapy sessions the therapist does manual massage trying to lessen my pain and increase my mobility, working primarily in the area of my shoulder (that is where most of my pain appears to be coming from).  When talking with the doctor today, he told me it's really tricky to determine whether it's more a shoulder injury that also hurts my neck or vice versa.  I do have some numbness and tingling that radiates down my left arm into my fingers, which suggests there might be a pinched nerve in my neck as well.  The therapy helps while I'm there, and I'm quite sore when I leave.  I haven't noticed a huge difference yet in the reduction of pain, except for the two and a half days I was on a steroid.  Then -- holy cow, look out!  I was virtually pain free.  Unfortunately, I developed one heck of a cold within twenty-four hours from taking my first dose.  Enough so that with a fever and chills the doctor discontinued my use of said steroid.  I am taking a muscle relaxer at night to help me sleep (and also to reduce the muscle spasms) and during the day I have 500 mg of Naproxen (basically prescription-strength Aleve).

All of this is fine and dandy, I suppose...except that I'm missing a ton of work trying to heal.  Not only is this taking a toll on me, but the folks at school do not like having to cover my classes twice a week for me to go to physical therapy and doctor appointments.  It's tough to balance it all -- I want to get better and know that I didn't do anything (except my job), but ended up injured anyway.  The doctor has cleared me to work, with restrictions.  As I think I may have mentioned before, it is nearly impossible to have control of, and teach, a classroom full of 40+ students at a time when you are seated.  Sadly, I'm supposed to alternate between sitting and standing (when sitting I prop my arm up so it isn't just hanging there like dead weight).  I am also supposed to be putting heat on my injuries -- twenty minutes on the neck/shoulder, twenty minutes on the back...and repeat.  That is so not happening as often as it should.  I'd also like to point out that, although I teach high school, for some reason I bend over an awful lot each day.  I've been restricted to bending no more than 20%.  What the heck is that?  That's not even enough to really both bending over in the first place.  Perhaps I'm just more clumsy now that I'm aware of this restriction.  Seriously, I seem to find things on the floor that absolutely need to be dealt with, immediately, all day long.  Craziness, really.  Here's to hoping it's all back to normal one day soon!

As I sign off for the night, I'll clue you in on an event coming up much too soon!  On Thursday, March 27, 2014 my school (Milwaukee School of Languages) is having our annual Festival of Nations.  Groups of teachers work with their students creating displays, interactive events, cooking and serving food, and much more for families in the community to come and enjoy.  Last year I decorated my room like a Costa Rican rainforest (see photos).



This year, my goal is to create a classroom "under the sea," the Caribbean Sea that is.  My classes are working on learning about Cuba, The Dominican Republic, and Puerto Rico.  Our focus has been on how living near the Sea has influenced their dance, music and art.  We've also started to look into whether or not there were any ill-effects experienced by the people of these islands after the most recent BP oil spill.  I can't wait to see what the kids come up with -- if you're in the area, stop on by!  There will be more to come on this later.  I have nine school days to prepare, and as of this moment we've barely started decorating my room.  Signing off now to catch up on beauty rest and find the whimsical inspiration of the sea!

Get Ready, Get Set....Wait!

We have news.  It's not super exciting news, but it is news moving in a forward direction.  On March 12 I was finally able to call the doctor to tell them I was starting "Day 1" of my cycle.  For anyone trying to have babies, you have to know how important this is!  I won't say it's impossible to conceive without a monthly cycle, because God knows sometimes women ovulate and never realize it, but it sure does make things more predictable and easier to track!

Tony and I are taking a five-day vacation in April to Denver, CO.  One of my questions for the fertility clinic was whether or not we had time to fit in our next (and possibly final) in vitro fertilization cycle before then.  The answer is:  we do not, in fact, have time.  So, I get to go and enjoy five days away with my hubby and get really relaxed in order to prepare for what will be waiting for us when we get home.  There really are worse things in the world than "having" to go enjoy time away with your husband, leaving all worry and care for the fertility world behind you.  :)

Tony and I have also received the go-ahead to purchase our donor sperm.  As much as we've been waiting for them to say "alright, go on, buy it!," secretly I've kind of been dreading it.  Anyone who knows me well knows that I always sometimes get a little carried away with making sure that things are perfect.  Now, I don't know about you, but if you were picking out what could potentially be the Y contributing factor to your child, wouldn't you want the best possible outcome?  Luckily (well, maybe?) there is a plethora of information available to people seeking donor sperm.  Some might even tell you it is too much information.  Even I can admit that even though I generally consider more information better, in this scenario it becomes overwhelming and almost makes me afraid to pick one.

Let me see if I can explain this.  You can pick from a variety of topics to narrow down your search.  Hair color, eye color, height, weight, hair texture, skin tone, religious preference, ethnic background, blood type, education level...all of these things are included.  Once you select a donor that may meet your physical criteria you also get to peruse their and their family's medical history.  Some sites go so far as to list celebrity look-alikes for each donor, to give you a sample of their writing, a sound clip so you can hear their voice, etc.  You can pay extra to see baby photos.  And, most of these places also have an option where you can send in a picture of your significant other (Tony in this case, for those who were wondering lol) and they will pick people who look similarly.  All in all it is pretty darn neat.  But.  And this is a big but -- it is extremely overwhelming.  When we first started this process in December, Tony was "with me" and on task for about fifteen minutes.  After the first five times that I exclaimed "Ooh...check this one out!"  He was done.  Too much information.  Information overload.  Since then, I've put it on the back burner, because I recognize that little secret I let you in on earlier -- I get carried away.  I tend to take so much time fretting over the smallest detail.  Now, it appears to be crunch time, we have to make a decision.  I have three different sites that I'm looking at that have similar pricing and shipping costs.  I'll have to remember to keep you all posted when we do finally make a decision!

I should also clarify here that in all reality we hope that we won't even need to use the donor sperm.  I want to be clear that our ideal situation includes a baby with both Tony's and my genes.  That also plays a part in my indecisiveness and our unwillingness to pick one as of now.  It is hard to spend time sifting through possibilities all the while hoping you won't have to use them after all.  And then there's the cost.  Yikes.  In our consultation with the doctor he flippantly threw it out there "Eh, eggs are expensive.  But sperm?  A couple hundred bucks.  No big deal!"  Yeah.  Remind me in my next life to be a doctor like he is so that I will think the cost of purchasing donor sperm is "no big deal!"  Not sure where he's purchasing his donor sperm, but out here in the real world it can run anywhere from $350 - $750 a vial, and you also pay for shipping which generally runs about $250.  So...that means best-case scenario has us spending about $600 possibly up to $1000.  Yeah, no big deal.  Right.  Now, there are "specials" every month.  But, let me tell you...though I am one to jump on the bargain train if I think there's a good deal to be had, I seriously don't know if I'm willing to make that choice when we're talking about my potential future baby here.  I'm not going to purchase sperm just because it's on sale.  Tony and I have decided that we would like to have the baby look as much like both of us as possible and we're just not willing to take our chances on the monthly special -- don't get me wrong, I've checked them out.  Most of them are about 5'6" and Asian.  I don't know about you, but I'm thinking Tony (and the rest of the world) might notice if that were the one we went with.  I'm sure these men will make very cute babies for someone, just not for us.

And now, you're asking, what else do you have to do?  I knew it!  Of course this blog isn't dragging on too long, and you have nothing else you'd rather be doing.  Right?!  Well.  Here. It. Is.  Tony and I have to wait.  Yep, you read that correctly.  We have to wait for another Day 1.  At that time they will start me on a prep cycle to get ready for the two-week period in which I inject medications into my stomach.  This time they are putting me on a different prep cycle.  For our past two IVF attempts I have been on a birth control prep cycle.  It's really easy.  You take birth control anywhere from 3-6 weeks before starting your medication.  It helps to make sure your ovaries are "quiet" before you start injecting the medications.  This time I will be on an estrace patch protocol.  This involves me waiting for Day 1, and then testing for an LH surge using an ovulation predictor kit.  Ten days after I get a positive surge, I will begin wearing the estrace patch every day.  It gets changed every other day four times, but they hope it will assist in recruiting more eggs for the big event.  The first time we did IVF I had 10 eggs, 5 of which were mature.  The second we had 11, 6 of which were mature.  During the time that I'm on the estrace patch, I will be getting another period.  After that I will be able to begin the medication injections.  At least that's how I understand how it's going to go down.  Probably just mundane details to most of you.  I like the fact that at least we have a plan now!

Ironically, this timeline will put us at just about the same timeframe as our first IVF cycle that resulted in pregnancy, but ended in miscarriage.  I hope and pray that this cycle has a very different outcome than both of our two previous cycles.  We are ready, I can feel it!  Thanks so much for reading, for caring, and for sending your love and support!

It Enters Like a Lion

You know the saying "March comes in like a lion, but goes out like a lamb?"  It's been on my mind a lot lately, and not only due to our outrageous lovely Wisconsin weather.  I've been doing some reflecting lately, and it dawned on me that, at least in my life and for many I love, March's lioness has wrought all kinds of damage.  As far as I'm aware, she leaves much more quietly than she comes in.

Let me explain.  Nine years ago, I was a twenty-four-year-old teacher working in a very small school district.  I taught Spanish I, II, III and IV.  I had no textbooks, but made activities up for my students to complete.  I loved my job, and I loved my students (even those who didn't act lovely every second of every day).  I lived alone and was an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician).  I had little experience with people being taken away from us too soon.  I was, in fact, naive in that regard.  I fell into a comfortable rhythm, enjoying life and taking many things for granted.

On March 4, 2005 the world tilted a bit for me.  I was caught off-guard and felt off-kilter for awhile.  I can say that to this day I continue to remember the events of that day very clearly.  I was on call that night, scheduled to begin at 9 p.m., I believe.  I'd driven to the Lodi area to have fish with my dad, as is our Wisconsin Friday night "tradition."  We first went to a restaurant called "Fish Lips,"  only to find out that it was closed because the owner's were in Florida on vacation.  Next, we headed to Sauk City.  Our restaurant of choice was very busy and we would have had to wait a long time to eat.  So we went to Roxbury where we had a nice meal.  All of these 'delays' took awhile, and I ended up heading back later than I'd planned.  The pager went off just minutes before I was back in range.  I had no idea what happened until the next morning.  It was then that I found out that four of my students, my students, had been involved in a horrific car accident.  One was sent by helicopter to the nearest trauma center, and the other three died.

As I write this, even now, nine years later the tears start to come again, but that is nothing new.  My heart continues to hurt for those who lost their daughters or their son, their sisters or their brother, their best friend, their girlfriend or boyfriend.   Thinking about it doesn't ever really seem "easier."  There were no words to adequately comfort the rest of my students, or myself.  And as cowardly as it may seem, I am so grateful that I missed that call.  I truly believe that God was watching out for me that day.  Though I had all the training in the world, I would not have been okay responding to that accident scene.  I salute all the people who were there that day, because I know it was a difficult scene whether you knew the victims or not.  I know for a fact that in that small, tight-knit community there were plenty of first responders and EMS personnel who knew those people, or their families.  I can only pray that all those affected have found peace, have been able to grieve, and have found a way to honor those who passed away that night.

March has also brought sadness and fear to my family.  I don't feel that it's my place to describe either of these situations because they aren't my stories to tell.  I'll just say this -- both events brought my family closer together and taught us the importance of leaning on one another when we need support.

So, this March, this lioness...yes, she comes in strong -- but she has also taught me that my students and their families are stronger than the hurt she brought.  She taught me that my family can endure great sorrow and trials, and come out more closely tied on the other side.  And finally, she taught me that I am stronger -- I can survive.  I can be the adult in a room full of children looking for a shoulder to cry on, the teacher who admits sorrow too, the teacher with whom they can cry.  I can be a niece who offers love and support.  I can be a cousin who is there to play, laugh, offer love and support, and do as much of anything else I can to make some days easier.

 In the end this lioness has taught me to take on her traits.  To be strong, unyielding, and roaring in the face of  tragedy and trials.  I protect those I love fiercely, and I love with my whole heart.  So I suppose, as difficult as these lessons were as I was experiencing them, I have March to thank for that.  I cannot regret these experiences because they have helped to shape who I am today.

 I am a veteran teacher who stands before her classroom and never forgets all that can go wrong...I get to belong to a family who is incredibly strong and supportive.  And every March, I will remember.

Exhaustion and Pain

My weekend was spent with my new friends, Exhaustion and Pain.  Maybe I shouldn't give them "names" as if they are people, but I truly feel they have been my constant companions this past week and more so this weekend.  

I may have mentioned that I was injured at work.  The injury occurred Thursday, February 20.  I helped to break up a fight, restrained one of the participants.  There have been mixed messages about this at school.  Some say we have been instructed to NEVER step in to stop a fight.  We are to say "Stop!".  This was news to me.  When I started teaching in this district, I was sent to a Nonviolence Intervention Training which included CPI restraint training.  I have been taught how to do this, but apparently I'm not supposed to use the training.  I have a hard time reconciling the fact I'm one (usually the only) adult supervising upwards of forty students at a time and I'm supposed to sit back if a fight breaks out.  Don't get me wrong -- I'm not saying I like to be involved in situations like that.  But, I do feel it is partly my responsibility to provide a safe environments for the students I serve.  How am I doing that by not intervening?  This is all a moot point, really.  The doctor informed me in no uncertain terms that I am not allowed to "be a part of any more altercations."  I chuckled when he said this, and turned bright red, and clarified that I wasn't fighting anyone...just helping a colleague who was clearly struggling with this individual.

I have been diagnosed with a left cervical strain (my neck and shoulder) as well as a right lumbar strain (lower back).  I'm able to work, but have been put on restrictions.  This is where things get tricky.  I'm supposed to alternate between sitting and standing.  Have any of you ever tried to maintain order in a class with over 40 high schoolers while seated?  They respond so much better if I'm standing.  I'm also supposed to put heat on my shoulder and back -- 20 minutes on, 20 minutes off.  Quite difficult to do this when you're trying to walk around a classroom and are dragging an extension cord behind you. :) Finally, I'm not to raise my arms over my head.  Considering it is my left side that is injured, and I am right-handed, I didn't anticipate this being a problem.  I.  Was.  So.  Wrong.  You have no idea (and I am just learning) how many times I do that in a day.  I promise I'm not always throwing my hands up in exasperation either!  Reaching to get things, pulling down my projector screen, hanging things up, the list goes on and on.  

I also had a physical therapy evaluation last week Thursday (a week after the injury), and begin my scheduled therapies tomorrow.  I will be seeing them twice a week for an hour at a time. The doc didn't give me anything for the pain because he's aware we're trying to get pregnant.  At this point, I'm about to put that on hold until I'm feeling better because, the headaches I'm battling are excruciating.  I'm no stranger to headaches, but it is rare that they reduce me to tears.  It's happened three times in the last week.  The pain is also keeping me up at night, so that's where exhaustion comes in.  

If the pain doesn't get better tonight, I'll be scheduling another appointment with the doctor.  He thinks some of the pain is from muscle spasms.  So, I'm thinking I might heal more quickly if we can get those to stop so the muscle has a chance to heal in peace.  

Alright, time to go sit with some heat on my shoulder.  Wish me luck :)