Let me explain. Nine years ago, I was a twenty-four-year-old teacher working in a very small school district. I taught Spanish I, II, III and IV. I had no textbooks, but made activities up for my students to complete. I loved my job, and I loved my students (even those who didn't act lovely every second of every day). I lived alone and was an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician). I had little experience with people being taken away from us too soon. I was, in fact, naive in that regard. I fell into a comfortable rhythm, enjoying life and taking many things for granted.
On March 4, 2005 the world tilted a bit for me. I was caught off-guard and felt off-kilter for awhile. I can say that to this day I continue to remember the events of that day very clearly. I was on call that night, scheduled to begin at 9 p.m., I believe. I'd driven to the Lodi area to have fish with my dad, as is our Wisconsin Friday night "tradition." We first went to a restaurant called "Fish Lips," only to find out that it was closed because the owner's were in Florida on vacation. Next, we headed to Sauk City. Our restaurant of choice was very busy and we would have had to wait a long time to eat. So we went to Roxbury where we had a nice meal. All of these 'delays' took awhile, and I ended up heading back later than I'd planned. The pager went off just minutes before I was back in range. I had no idea what happened until the next morning. It was then that I found out that four of my students, my students, had been involved in a horrific car accident. One was sent by helicopter to the nearest trauma center, and the other three died.
As I write this, even now, nine years later the tears start to come again, but that is nothing new. My heart continues to hurt for those who lost their daughters or their son, their sisters or their brother, their best friend, their girlfriend or boyfriend. Thinking about it doesn't ever really seem "easier." There were no words to adequately comfort the rest of my students, or myself. And as cowardly as it may seem, I am so grateful that I missed that call. I truly believe that God was watching out for me that day. Though I had all the training in the world, I would not have been okay responding to that accident scene. I salute all the people who were there that day, because I know it was a difficult scene whether you knew the victims or not. I know for a fact that in that small, tight-knit community there were plenty of first responders and EMS personnel who knew those people, or their families. I can only pray that all those affected have found peace, have been able to grieve, and have found a way to honor those who passed away that night.
March has also brought sadness and fear to my family. I don't feel that it's my place to describe either of these situations because they aren't my stories to tell. I'll just say this -- both events brought my family closer together and taught us the importance of leaning on one another when we need support.
So, this March, this lioness...yes, she comes in strong -- but she has also taught me that my students and their families are stronger than the hurt she brought. She taught me that my family can endure great sorrow and trials, and come out more closely tied on the other side. And finally, she taught me that I am stronger -- I can survive. I can be the adult in a room full of children looking for a shoulder to cry on, the teacher who admits sorrow too, the teacher with whom they can cry. I can be a niece who offers love and support. I can be a cousin who is there to play, laugh, offer love and support, and do as much of anything else I can to make some days easier.
In the end this lioness has taught me to take on her traits. To be strong, unyielding, and roaring in the face of tragedy and trials. I protect those I love fiercely, and I love with my whole heart. So I suppose, as difficult as these lessons were as I was experiencing them, I have March to thank for that. I cannot regret these experiences because they have helped to shape who I am today.
I am a veteran teacher who stands before her classroom and never forgets all that can go wrong...I get to belong to a family who is incredibly strong and supportive. And every March, I will remember.
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