1 Day Post-Transfer

Yesterday's embryo transfer went well!  Things went very smoothly, and it all happened quite quickly.  We got to see our two embryos side by side under a microscope prior to the procedure.  They hadn't fully expanded yet, so they look a little bit different from those we've seen in the past.  You can see the outer ring that is the edge of the cell -- the pieces inside were more compact once frozen.  Pretty neat science stuff!  I will post the photo below, please don't check it out unless you want to.  Nothing too icky -- just cells like in a science textbook!

Luckily for me, the doc was right on time this time.  Sitting with a full bladder can be uncomfortable, although I did better this time at drinking a smaller amount.  I wasn't too miserable.

Once the two embryos were together in the petri dish under the microscope, they were not parted again.  We were able to see them "land" right where they were supposed to in the uterus (using an ultrasound), it was pretty neat.  We had not been able to see this on any of our prior transfers (at least we don't remember it -- it is possible that no one pointed it out).  The entire thing took less than five minutes once everything was situated.  Amazing that such a quick, small step in such a long process can have such an effect on the outcome.

When I went in yesterday I had a slight headache and was a little congested, which I contributed to allergies.  As we left, my headache had gotten quite a bit worse, but I still wasn't giving it the attention it probably deserved.  We came home, I crashed and tried to nap -- only to wake up nearly in tears because the pain in my head was so excruciating.  I debated going in to the emergency room, but didn't want to risk anything with the transfer.  So, I took some tylenol and put Tony to work giving me a head, neck and shoulder massage.  Once the medication kicked in I felt good enough that a trip to see a doctor was no longer necessary.  As of now, more than 24 hours later, it's still not entirely gone.  I took two doses of tylenol yesterday, but haven't had any yet today.  It's very dull and I'm hoping it continues to get better on its own.  When I was eating dinner this evening my left cheek was hurting above my teeth, which I suppose is affirmation that this might be something sinus-related.  I'll have to wait and see how things go!

So now what?  We wait.  How long?  Ten days.  I go in for my first blood test on September 5, which cannot come soon enough!  In the meantime I continue the medications that the doctors have me on to help support this/these pregnancy/pregnancies!  It's really difficult to imagine it could be two, seriously.  But, we have to be realistic...it could be two.  I begin my fall semester on Tuesday September 2, and will be taking five classes (13 credits) while also continuing to work at Sendik's Bayside.


EMBRYO PHOTO***EMBRYO PHOTO***EMBRYO PHOTO***EMBRYO PHOTO***

We have a date!

Just a quick update:  Our doctor appointment went well this morning, the uterine lining is developing as it should.  The date has been set for our embryo transfer.  Next Wednesday, August 27 at 2:00 p.m.  We will be transferring two embryos!

In the meantime, we are just enjoying life (with a little added relaxation now that Biochemistry is done)!

The End of Biochemistry!

The end of Biochemistry is in sight!  I hope to be able to write more frequently once I finish my final exam on Friday.  Woohoo!  In addition to the studying I've been trying to do, I've been working quite a few hours at Sendik's (Bayside, for anyone in the Milwaukee Area who'd like to come visit me -- it's on the corner of Port Washington and Brown Deer Roads), and trying to get my application for nursing clinical finalized in order to turn it in (also on Friday).

If accepted, I will begin my clinical training full-time in January.  I'm supposed to write about a time I had to work as part of a team.  I am to describe my role on the team and any challenges I faced.  I feel like this should be an easy thing to do.  It is proving quite difficult.  In the world of education, it seems collaborating is so much of what we do -- I find it nearly impossible to pick just one scenario.  Also, there were many projects that I was in charge of with students -- but I think that put me more in the role of leader/facilitator, and I think the committee would prefer that I speak of a team of my peers.  It has occurred to me that I could also draw on my experience as and EMT, which might be more applicable in this situation.  So...if any of you out there worked with me as a part of your team on ANYTHING and would like to throw out a suggestion to trigger my memory, I'd be eternally grateful.  Right now everything is kind of lumped together and I just don't know where to begin!

Finally, some fertility news (don't get too excited, it's not much)!  We went in earlier this week for the baseline ultrasound.  Everything looked good, and we're still on track to do the frozen embryo transfer at the end of this month (yippee!).  I am currently taking Estradiol in varying amounts per the doctors orders.  This is supposed to mimic the body's natural preparations and should help with a positive implantation (or implantations?!) come time for the transfer.  I haven't let it sink in that we could end up with multiples quite yet -- whoever we get will be who we were meant to get!  Next ultrasound is scheduled for next week Wednesday...

Hope you are enjoying the week -- we're loving the weather today!

Good news

I received notification yesterday that all of the recurrent pregnancy loss test came back negative.  Although this does not answer the question of why I miscarried twice, it does give is great hope for the future in that there is no definitive reason for these miscarriages thus far.  So, what does this mean?  It means I tested negative for clotting factors that, had they been positive, would have indicated that my body was preventing pregnancy.  They also tested for four autoimmune disorders, including lupus, and I was negative for all four.  

We are waiting for day one of my next cycle, which should be happening any day now.  I will start the estradiol medication on day one, and will go in shortly after that for a baseline ultrasound.  Our frozen embryo transfer cycle is about to take off!

What a tough day...

This will be short -- I'm exhausted.  We were able to get an appointment to take Shadow in to the vet this morning at 10:30.  I was a blubbering mess most of the night as well as through the morning.  Shadow and I stayed up extra late and played ball in the dark -- she loved it!  And, she got to spend the night cuddling with Tony and I in our bed.  It was a great last night for her.  I got to talk to her, pet her, snuggle with her, and tell her all the things on my heart.  She was so sweet and loving, and ironically we saw none of the behaviors that were signs of her growing illness.  It. Was. Perfect.  Tony and I were with her the entire time, and I was looking into her eyes and scratching her ears the whole time.  I felt at peace as she slipped into her final sleep, and know that she's happy romping around playing ball in Heaven now -- watching over our babies until they can come here to meet us.  She will always have a special place in our hearts, but we feel so much better knowing she is no longer suffering and will no longer be a danger to anyone.  She was loved every single day of her life, and I know she knows how much we adored her and will miss her.  The photo here was taken this morning as she did one of here favorite things -- rip up her toys!  We still have some adjusting and grieving to do -- seeing her empty crate continues to tug at my heartstrings, but I do not have the strength to take it down just yet.  When I took a nap this afternoon, I dreamt of my sweet girl, and I'm hoping it happens again real soon.  I know, somehow, she's out there watching over us -- as I was standing outside when we returned from the vet, looking up at the sky and praying, I caught a glimpse of a cloud that looked just like her face, with her tongue lolling out.  It left me with such an incredible sense of peace, for I know that's exactly how she's feeling -- at peace.

Goodbyes are the worst

Well, some of my test results are in.  The good news is there's nothing too out of whack.  I haven't received any information from the recurrent pregnancy loss panel, which includes several autoimmune disorders, but so far all I have to do is take some vitamin D.  It's still a "go" to proceed with the frozen embryo transfer.

On another note, we've made a very difficult decision today.  It looks like tomorrow we'll be saying goodbye to our Shadow-girl.  We got Shadow when she was just six-weeks old and looked like this:

While she was still very young, Shadow started showing signs of extreme fear.  We later learned from the vet and more than three trainers that she suffered from what they thought was fear-aggression.  Unfortunately, as she gets older she appears to be worsening.  We have spent countless hours in training with Shadow trying to build her confidence.  We have spent many, many dollars trying to get her the help she needs.  Certain things seem to help -- and then somehow we end up back at square one.  Shadow has started attacking our other dog out of t
he blue.  She is also growing more and more aggressive with us.  The vet seems to think she may be suffering from some sort of a tumor, but there is really no way to tell since the tests would run us about $1000 and there's not much they can do for her even if that is what they found.  I've known this was coming for a long time.  I put off making any decision while I was pregnant because I felt like I was too emotional.  I'm realizing now that I'm never going to be un-emotional when it comes to saying goodbye to this precious best friend of mine.  She will always have a special place in my heart.  I wish with all of my being that we could re-home her -- but honestly, if I felt there were any hope for any kind of rehabilitation she would never be leaving this home in the first place.

So, tonight is a little tribute to this bounding baby who came along and stole my heart, gives the best snuggles, and always knows how to make me smile.  Always in my heart, Shadow girl!