Goodbyes are the worst

Well, some of my test results are in.  The good news is there's nothing too out of whack.  I haven't received any information from the recurrent pregnancy loss panel, which includes several autoimmune disorders, but so far all I have to do is take some vitamin D.  It's still a "go" to proceed with the frozen embryo transfer.

On another note, we've made a very difficult decision today.  It looks like tomorrow we'll be saying goodbye to our Shadow-girl.  We got Shadow when she was just six-weeks old and looked like this:

While she was still very young, Shadow started showing signs of extreme fear.  We later learned from the vet and more than three trainers that she suffered from what they thought was fear-aggression.  Unfortunately, as she gets older she appears to be worsening.  We have spent countless hours in training with Shadow trying to build her confidence.  We have spent many, many dollars trying to get her the help she needs.  Certain things seem to help -- and then somehow we end up back at square one.  Shadow has started attacking our other dog out of t
he blue.  She is also growing more and more aggressive with us.  The vet seems to think she may be suffering from some sort of a tumor, but there is really no way to tell since the tests would run us about $1000 and there's not much they can do for her even if that is what they found.  I've known this was coming for a long time.  I put off making any decision while I was pregnant because I felt like I was too emotional.  I'm realizing now that I'm never going to be un-emotional when it comes to saying goodbye to this precious best friend of mine.  She will always have a special place in my heart.  I wish with all of my being that we could re-home her -- but honestly, if I felt there were any hope for any kind of rehabilitation she would never be leaving this home in the first place.

So, tonight is a little tribute to this bounding baby who came along and stole my heart, gives the best snuggles, and always knows how to make me smile.  Always in my heart, Shadow girl!