Here we go again...

Transfer today went well.  It was completely uneventful -- unless of course you consider the fact that we took one of our live embryos and gave it a new home!  In all honesty, there wasn't a whole lot of excitement beyond the normal anticipation of this kind of event.  Most people probably don't even know what that feels like.  For us, it is becoming almost too routine.

We had to wait a little while before the doc came in, but once she did we were off and rolling.  The embryo was a Grade A embryo, and had already begun the thawing process.  It hadn't yet quite filled the cellular space of the entire circle, but they said it was totally viable and thawing nicely.  I find that encouraging, but they said that last time too.  Please don't think I'm downplaying what we did today, it really was very special.  It is very special every time.  And as special as it is, I hope this is our last time before we become parents to a beautiful baby.

This time I did remember to do something that I forgot to do last time.  I bought a pineapple.  Many of you may be wondering at the significance of this, so let me explain it to you.  Apparently there is an enzyme in pineapple, bromelain, that can help with implantation of an embryo.  The fertility instructions I've read indicate that you are to cut an inch off both the top and bottom of a pineapple (and take the skin off, of course).  Then you cut the remaining chunk into five equal pieces.  You eat one piece a day, starting the day of the transfer.  It is supposed to make the uterine lining stickier.  All my doctors and my acupuncturist have heard of this, and though they don't know of any science to back it up, they do agree that there is nothing harmful in trying this.  On our last transfer, I completely forgot about the pineapple until four days post-transfer.  We all know how that ended.  So, for now I'm going to tell myself this will help, and I'm going to believe this baby into being.

So now, the wait is on.  We will find out whether this worked on October 9.  I can't write much more tonight because I have a Microbiology lab report due tomorrow, as well as a Microbiology exam tomorrow.  I really should be studying.  I took a Nutrition exam today, and therefore haven't done nearly enough studying for Microbiology yet.  After tomorrow we don't have a lot on our schedule for awhile, so the wait will probably be on our minds.  These ten days can't pass quickly enough!  Alright...going to hit the books!

On to the next transfer...

I'm so sorry to have neglected to update this sooner.  Monday was an extremely busy day, and somehow Tuesday just disappeared!  We went in for our ultrasound yesterday -- although it feels like it was Monday.  Sheesh.  Everything looks good, and my uterine lining has developed adequately.  The doc had me start my progesterone medication, and I am also continuing to take the estrogen-based medication.

Our transfer has been scheduled for Monday, September 29, 2014 at 10:30 a.m.  We are so excited, but a little bit nervous too.  It's hard to describe the things that go through your mind each time you do this.  This will be our fourth transfer.  We've now done two "fresh" and this will be our second "frozen."  As the photo here suggests, we have more chances and just need to stay cool.

We have elected to go with one embryo this round.  When we did our second transfer and had six embryos remaining, it seemed like we had an ample supply.  Who would have thought that we would now be down to only four?  We don't want to speed through them, and this is part of our way of taking this a little more slowly.  I am doing certain things to improve my health even more so that I might be better equipped to have a healthy pregnancy -- and one that produces our long-awaited baby.  I am not going to lie -- the shock and grief of getting two "nos" instead of yeses last time also played a role.  Your chances are always 50-50, and we've decided that one is the way to go this time.

When we went into the doctor yesterday, I also had my vitamin D levels re-tested.  I'm happy to report that they've risen into the "normal" range, and I am continuing to take my vitamin D every morning.  Interestingly enough, in case you didn't know, you are supposed to take this pill with calcium every day to assist in its absorption.  It was written on the note from my doctor, but it took me a couple of days to sit down and read that (after I'd started taking the medication, of course)!  Who knew?

Alright -- I'm off to complete a discussion for my online class (before midnight -- I have two and a half hours, better get on that), and study for a quiz that I hope to ace tomorrow.  Thanks for being here, thanks for reading, and as always thanks for your thoughts and prayers!

Moving Forward

Tony and I have decided to move forward with our next transfer.  I have already begun taking the required estrogen in order to do this.  My mid-cycle ultrasound is scheduled for September 23.  It will not be too long after that the transfer will take place.  We have decided to go back to the "singleton" route, and will only be transferring one embryo.  Although some may think the odds are increased in doing two (this is what we initially thought and believed even after the doctors told us otherwise, the percentage of success is still 50%.  So, we'd rather not potentially waste two embryos at once.

We are slowly recovering from our most recent disappointment with our two embryos.  I realize I have been absent here, and I apologize.  With school starting, working, and grieving I needed a little time.  There are still times when it hits me that "I can't believe we have to do this again."  But, then my faith is restored.  Those moments are becoming fewer and have more space between them.  Tony appears to have bounced back as well.  For those of you who do not know, Tony has bipolar disorder.  We have to be careful with anything involving high highs or low lows.  Losing our two embryos so quickly after losing Shadow really hit him hard.  And, as can happen with bipolar disorder, after the low he had some symptoms that indicated a manic episode might have been on the way.  I am happy to say that due to his diligence in taking his medication and his openness about what he experiences on a daily basis, we appear to be back at normal.  I am so proud of the way he chooses to let his doctor (and me) in when he's feeling something that isn't quite right.

As always, we ask for your prayers and positivity as we continue this journey we have before us.  There is nothing painful about what I have to do -- I'm grateful there are no injections, and really I have very few yucky side effects when taking this medication.  The only thing I've noticed is that I cry at the drop of a hat, but honestly that seems to happen even when I'm not taking medication.  I'm just an emotional gal!  I believe with all my heart that God has a plan for us and I know deep down that it includes children, so I'm going into this with not much worry but a lot of anticipation.  And I am so l
ooking forward to taking you along on this continuation of our journey as we go!

Test results

Not good news.  Not pregnant.  My HCG was less than 0.2.  It needs to be above 5 to be considered pregnant. I will update as we figure out what our next steps will be.

And we're off...

It is 6:32 a.m. and we are on our way to get my blood drawn.  Requesting prayers and positive thoughts!  I will update as soon as I hear anything!

The Countdown is On!

Happy Labor Day!  For the first time in many years, I labored on labor day.  I spent some of my day working today at Sendik's, and I quite enjoyed myself as I often do there.  Although, I did embarrass myself several times with silly stupid mistakes.  I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that I'm operating with a foggy, pregnant brain -- that's my excuse for these silly episodes.  Some happened privately (thank goodness), while others were witnessed by my customers and fellow employees.  Let me give you some examples:  

First, our bathroom has an automatic soap dispenser attached to the granite countertop.  This soap dispenser has been empty since I began working at Sendik's, and there is a bottle of regular hand soap on the counter.  EVERY SINGLE TIME I went into the bathroom today (which was more than usual -- hopefully another good sign), I told myself (yes, out loud even) "Rachel, do not try to use the automatic soap dispenser, it is out of soap."  And then, as I was getting my hands wet with water I'd find myself daydreaming, looking in the mirror and, yep you got it, waiting with my hands under the automatic soap dispenser that I just reminded myself was out of soap.  Sigh.  I also had many problems making change for people today.  Well, actually, I made their change just fine, but then I would second-guess myself and go back and forth about whether or not I gave them the correct change.  Truly difficult to explain adequately, but just know this -- I was not myself.

I am happy to report that my headache has subsided.  For the first time in a long time I am quite relaxed on the eve of school beginning.  If I rewind a year, two, heck even ten, I've always been a nervous ball of energy the day before the school year started.  In fact, there were several years I broke out in hives.  I am SO thankful that I came up with a plan to let me pursue my dream of becoming a nurse.  I'm not going to lie, it hit me harder than I thought it would when there were teacher inservices going on last week and I wasn't there.  But, I also know that because my stress level is so decreased from not being there that this pregnancy has a way better shot at becoming our reality.  So, as hard as it is to know I won't be walking down MSL's halls tomorrow, I will be forging my new path and attending my first class as a full-time student at UW-Milwaukee.  

Some of you may be wondering if I'm experiencing any symptoms.  That is such a difficult question to answer.  The doctors still have me taking estrogen and progesterone, which means that what I'm feeling could just be medication...or it could be something more.  I started both of these medications awhile before the transfer, so in my mind any of the symptoms I'm experiencing should have shown up then, right?  Well, I have some new ones to add since Wednesday.  Besides the headaches, I have heartburn.  Heartburn that is bad enough to wake me up in the middle of the night.  I've taken to packing tums into my pockets before I go to work, I have some in the car, and I also have a baggie full of them next to my bed.  I have increased the amount of water I'm drinking, so excessive urination is probably a result of that (although I do get up 2, 3, sometimes 4 times a night).  My sense of smell has greatly improved.  Yesterday, as Tony and I were watching a movie in our bedroom (The Other Woman -- I highly recommend it), I had to stop the movie for him to go check the cats' litter box...that was three closed doors away from me in a completely separate room.  I've also had some twinges and cramps, which is all very normal.  We are anxiously looking forward to Friday, and thank you all in advanced for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.  Thanks so much for coming along on this journey with us -- we couldn't have done it without such support along the way!