this evening. Somehow staying busy, as I managed to do all semester, seems to be a good option for me! I finished up my first semester in my pursuit of my nursing degree. There were stressful times, but they all appear to have paid off -- when my grades were FINALLY posted, I was happy to see a 4.0 waiting for me!
Christmas went very well for Tony and I. We got to spend a lot of time visiting with most of the people who we consider family. We missed out on a few, but have hopes of catching up with all of them early in the new year. Since exams finished, I find myself super busy without a whole lot to do. Does that even make sense? There are a TON of things I need to get in order so that I can start my Spring semester in accordance with the School of Nursing requirements. Let me just say this: Do any of you know how difficult tracking down immunization records is when you're 34 years old?! My parents had some of them. The Wisconsin Immunization Registry had a couple more...and after that I was out of luck! I spent several days corresponding with my pediatrician, only to find out that they couldn't find my records. Anywhere. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that -- thank goodness I'm too focused on figuring out how to prove I'm immune to Chicken Pox, Hepatitis B, Measles, Mumps, and Rubella to worry about it much. I ended up having to have titers of blood drawn, and the lab then tested the blood for immunity for each of the things I mentioned. Happy to report that the only booster I needed was the MMR. Oddly enough, I still have immunity to two of the three components and the booster is to make me immune to the third. There is also an official form to fill out for the influenza vaccine, as well as several other agreements I had to get in order. The hardest part of all this is that it all has to be uploaded onto the computer in an electronic format. And, you can't save the webpage where you may find the information (i.e. WI Immunization Registry). So...it's a lot of printing, scanning, saving and uploading. The good news is that I'm almost done, and I have a week to spare! I think I'm getting better at getting things done in advance (although if you ask my parents, I still just about give them heart attacks every chance I get when it comes to this stuff)!
Searching through all my medical records for the information I need brought up a lot of memories, all which feel fresh now that they're opened again. I think that's why I'm feeling down. On a day-to-day basis I'm able to let myself forge ahead and not dwell on what might have been. On days like today, when I have a little bit of free time and I'm searching through test results, my eyes stray to the quantitative hCG results from last summer...and of course I have to take a look at one, and then another, and another. I want to get back to how happy I was when I was watching that hCG rise, when we had an ultrasound date on the calendar and I was envisioning our life with our new little baby. I have not lost my faith, it isn't even wavering. I've just stumbled a bit tonight and am not forcing myself to get up too quickly. Some hurt is good for the soul, and I feel an urgent need to let myself feel this tonight. Tomorrow is a new day, and soon 2015 will be here. Tonight I grieve for what we lost -- and leave tomorrow to hope for what will come.
It turns out that my life as a full-time student didn't include mailing out Christmas cards this year. I felt really badly about it, initially, but then I talked myself into the fact that any Christmas letter I send would be so much less informative than this blog! :) And so, Tony and I wish you all the happiest of holidays this season. A belated "Merry Christmas" from our house to yours, and a most "Prosperous New Year to All!"
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